LifeCare Center For Women - What Do You Know About Adoption?

LifeCare Center for Women

LifeNotes

What Do You Know About Adoption?
by Leah Wray

Can you answer the following questions as true or false?

It is easier to choose abortion than to plan for an adoption.
A girl that places her baby for adoption will never know the parents of her baby.
Birth mothers are uncaring and soon forget about their babies.
Birth mothers often regret their decision sometime in their life.
The adoption papers are signed as soon as the girl knows she is pregnant.
The adoptive parents know nothing of the baby's background or who the birth parents are.
Adopted children feel rejected and sometimes have mental or emotional problems when they learn of their adoption.
An adoptive child's future is insecure and may he/she may be taken out of their home at any time.

If you answered false to all of the questions, you know a lot about adoption. Public media has done much lately to put adoption in a negative light. Until recently, I must admit, I knew very little about the adoption process. I was amazed how much the stories we have heard in the news the past few years have influenced my ideas about adoption.

Adoption is described as, "the legal process by which permanent custody of a child is transferred from the birth parents to the adoptive parents. For a pregnant woman, choosing adoption means voluntarily making a plan for her baby to be raised by other parents."

Some key words found in this definition are: (taken from The Adoption Option by Candace P. Mueller)

legal - a formal, according to the law, procedure
permanent - not temporary, a long-term decision
birth parents - term to describe the biological mother and father
adoptive parents - term to describe the family that adopts the child
choosing - a selective, voluntary act that considers other alternatives
making a plan - a deliberate action, not superficially or quickly done
baby - the child, at a very young age, who is adopted

Adoption is not the easy way out. It is a decision made by a young girl or woman out of love for her baby, and wanting him/her to have more than she is able to give him/her at this time. The person that plans for adoption puts the needs of her baby before her own needs and desires. Making an adoption plan requires a lot of decisions prior to the baby's birth. In the state of Kansas, a woman can "choose" the parents of her child. She is given several profiles of prospective parents. She may choose to interview one or more couples before making a final decision. Both parties are able to gain information about backgrounds, present circumstances, and the future plans. The birth mother can agree to exchange pictures and/or letters to know how her baby is growing and doing. They can even choose visits between the mother and adoptive family.

The birth mother and the adoptive family can make any even arrangements with which they are both comfortable. Gone are the days when the baby was taken away before the mother could see or hold it. She does not have to wonder what her baby looks like. She can even choose to name her baby. (The adoptive parents may choose to change the name at the time of the final hearing.) The birth mother can send gifts with the baby or choose to keep something of the baby's from the hospital.

The adoptive parents must have a home assessment done by a licensed social worker. A criminal history and child abuse check is done. Also, in the state of Kansas, the legal papers are not signed by the birth mother until at least 12 hours after the baby's birth. Temporary custody is granted to the adoptive parents by a judge until the final hearing which is generally 30-60 days later. Be reminded that these regulations may vary in other states. There are many myths regarding adoption, due largely to the negative media exposure. We must remember that for every "bad" story, there are many "good" stories also.

"For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ." -Ephesians 1:4-5

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