I Thought of Everyone But Me

I was just like any other 16 year old, playing sports, singing in choir, and involved in many different clubs in school. I had good grades, and my home life was just as normal as anyone else’s. I found out I was pregnant with a baby girl and it was scary; people who I thought were my friends stopped talking to me; people in the community whispered when I walked by and gave me dirty looks every chance they got. When I walked into school in the mornings, especially once I got big, people just walked by and stared at me like I had some disease. I was quickly labeled “The Pregnant Girl.”

Through all of this I leaned on my family, the friends who stuck with me, and God. My family gave me the support I needed and made sure I was healthy and comfortable, my friends gave me all kinds of support, and chips, and chocolate when I needed it, but most importantly God gave me strength. He gave me the strength to keep a great attitude and continue to be positive when people said hurtful things. He gave me comfort to know that I wasn’t ever alone. He also gave me the strength to put my baby first. 

When the baby’s father and I decided to give her up for ADOPTION, it was hard, but we both knew it was for the best. It took a lot of time, prayer, and many tears, but we finally came to grips with our decision. Before we knew it, I was in labor and a few days later we were holding our baby girl. She was perfect, ten fingers and ten toes, two beautiful eyes, and jet-black hair. I’d never seen anything more perfect. When I handed her over to her adoptive parents, I felt sad and I cried, but it’s what came after that that amazed me.

Peace. I had never felt more relieved in my entire life. Not because I didn’t want to be a mother, but because I knew that because of my unselfishness, I was being the best mother that I could be. This made every look, every bad thing said about me, every pain physically and emotionally, worth it. Every morning I wake up and thank God for my daughter, but most importantly, I thank him for blessing me with the strength to do what was best for her even though it meant my heart had to be broken.

It’s been two years and four months since I gave my daughter life, and these two years have been wonderful. My senior year I was voted Queen of Courts, played basketball and softball, graduated with an awesome GPA, and got a scholarship so great that now, I get paid to go to college. I volunteer for my church and I’m the AWANA secretary; every Wednesday night I greet over 60 kids and help them learn about Christ. I got a job at our rec department where I get to officiate games for the kids of the community, and I love every minute of it.

There are days that I miss my daughter, and honestly I can’t wait until we meet again, whether it be here on Earth or in Heaven. What I do know is that because of my faith and selflessness, we both have a chance at a pretty good life, and there’s absolutely no shame in that.

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